In this week's episode of FYI's Married At First Sight - The First Year, the couples move forward in their relationships and conversations of purchasing a home together and raising a family begin.
Oftentimes, men and women view this in a different light, and the #MAFSFirstYear couples are no different. Men tend to view it as a goal of financial stability and women often view it as an emotional commitment.
Jason and Cortney
As Jason and Cortney start to think more about next steps in their lives, Cortney decides it's time for Jason to see all that North Carolina has to offer. The girl is glowing at the thought of going home.
Although this was not the first time Cortney and Jason visited North Carolina, it is the first time they've had a crew with them to film it.
Cort gets down and dirty with her Cheetos fingers, pointing out Jason's driving flaws.

I seriously could not stand how sweet Jason was holding this baby. My heart melted like a big ole puddle on the floor. What a great dad he'll be some day.

For dinner, Jason gets sushi and a hot seat with the crazy eight. They alternate between roasting and grilling him and the night was certainly full of hijinks. (First time I've heard the word too, girls!)
How cool is this shot? I may or may not have screamed a little with Cortney while watching this activity. White water rafting was exhilarating...

...and so were the words that flew across the table after.
Your girl needs a ring, Jason. Get on it, please. We can't handle more than one disgruntled couple on MAFSFirstYear.
The end of the trip brought them to Cortney's grandmother's grave. It was hard to see the raw and vulnerable emotion she was feeling. But if anyone knows what it's like, it's Jason. Seriously, how perfect are these two for each other?
Doug and Jamie
Doug and Jamie are clearly still struggling, but they put on a good front and try to enjoy Doug Sr.'s surprise birthday party.
I love how enthusiastic Jamie is about the party. She truly appreciates being part of a stable, loving family.
Back to reality...


In her usual fashion, Dr. Pepper tells Jamie straight up that her ex-boyfriend has played a significant role in Doug's withdrawal. Dr. Pepper advises Jamie to communicate how she is feeling.

Stepping it up, he organizes an afternoon of volunteering at a local dog shelter. Look at Jamie beam. Good job, Doug.

While they have been hit and miss at best, I'm starting to see real effort from both Jamie and Doug.
Neph and Jasmine

Wait...did Neph just call Jaz spoiled for driving less than an hour to work? Oh yes, he did.

Jasmine needs more time to get acclimated to moving to New York. She's looking for comfort instead of pressure. That seems reasonable too.
Just moving to New York is a brave thing to do. I have no doubt she's going to find her own way when she is ready.

A Bee in My Bonnet

Jamie grew up feeling abandoned by both her mother and father. She grew up in poverty, often wondering how the basic needs of food, shelter and clothing would be met.
She had to become a mother to her siblings, quickly developing qualities of caring and nurturing and oftentimes putting their needs above her own.

When the four experts matched her with Doug, they knew he had all the qualities she was looking for on paper. Only life is never that perfect or that easy. Marriage still takes a ton of work...every...single...day.
So what happened with Doug and Jamie?
In many instances, when someone turns to another, it's because their needs aren't being met. There...I've said it.

Jamie gave up everything to move to New Jersey with Doug. As a very social person, it was hard for her to have no family, friends or professional colleagues to talk to or spend time with.

Instead of reaching out to each other and communicating openly to resolve their issues, they both shut down. The walls went up in an effort to protect themselves, causing further damage to the other.

- Although conflict in a relationship is often seen as negative, it can be a way to learn from and grow with each other, but only if it is dealt with respectfully.
- Being actively engaged in the process is key. It's important to listen whole-heartedly with an open heart and mind.
- Start with addressing the topic with "I" statements to avoid making accusations and placing blame on the other.
- Get specific with your needs and don't talk in generalities, expecting the other person to "get it".
- Allow your partner to respond with their perspective. Really try to see the issue from each other's point of view. Remember, you don't have to agree with them to understand how they are feeling.
- Avoid shutting down. Communication stops when it is one-sided.
- Find points that you can agree on and build a foundation from there. It's not about winning or losing, rather finding a solution you can both live with.
- Concessions must be made by each person. True growth takes place when both people feel respected, honored and valued in a relationship.
Read my interview with Jamie Otis here:
Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live Tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight #MAFS or #MAFSFirstSeason
Read my Married at First Sight The First Year Blogs here:
Married at First Sight The First Year S:2 E:3 Not Cool Jamie
Married at First Sight The First Year S:2 E:4 Wrong Path in Life
Read my Married At First Sight Top Tweets here:
Screen caps made by Bee, courtesy of FYI network
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