Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Married at First Sight S:2 E:8 Adjusting to Life



I took a brief reprieve from blogging during  this very special week for me. I'm lucky enough to have my anniversary, birthday and Mother's Day all within a few days of each other. Woot! So please forgive the delay, but a girl's got to celebrate!





Trauma and Turmoil

This season's Married at First Sight is wrought with such raw emotion that it flows continuously like lava out of a volcano. Anyone else feel the burn this week? Yeah, I thought so. Let's remember we are only being shown a very limited amount of the couples' time together. My thoughts are a reflection of that brief edited glimpse...

Ryan and Jessica



Jess does her own laundry, while Ryan pays to have his cleaned at the very same laundromat. No words exchanged as we start day 2 of the silent treatment.













Dr. Pepper makes an attempt to intervene...but their body language says they aren't buying it.












They take a brief reprieve from the silent treatment to exchange words. Just for the record, this is not about drawer and closet space. 












 Ryan seems to be an expert at pointing the finger. He thinks Jess is an expert at mind reading. 










She is shocked and saddened that she's failed as a psychic. 











Ryan's heart softens just a little and he hands her some paper towel to wipe away her tears.  











Despite the pain, they take baby steps forward and end the conversation with a high five. A hug would have been nice, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day. 










 


Ryan and Jaclyn


Ryan and Jaclyn's first shopping experience goes smooth as peanut butter...













...until it comes time to decide who will pay. Ryan firmly puts his foot down and eventually Jaclyn concedes. We applaud Ryan for taking a stand.










They are trying to make their apartment feel like home, but Ryan is uneasy. Their kitty heaven is a little too far away from his family.




He agrees to set his worries aside and live in the moment to build their relationship. 






But his homesickness becomes the main topic of conversation as they visit Jac's family for the first time. 




When uncle Pete's eyes read between the lines, mama Sharon's voice is the sense of reason and calms the waters. 





Jac is spot on that Ryan has hit a wall and is at a standstill emotionally. 






Ryan can't see the forest through the trees. We're hoping that their week apart gives him some clarity. 








Davina and Sean


A jog through Central Park eases Sean's anxiety and makes him feel a sense of "normalcy". 









Davina and Sean are being open and intimate about their feelings. These smiles are a welcome change...a breath of fresh Manhattan air. 





 
They commit to spending some quality phone time together when they are  apart.







 


I love that they intentionally mispronounce each others names. The secret to humor is surprise. Sean definitely brought that element of surprise with the 9-volt comment. Davina responded with delight. 











 Wait...Sean has been close to his cousin all his life and she lives in Manhattan? 











Maybe an $83 towel will bring him back? Or maybe it will wrap Davina in comfy warmth when he's gone. 












The simple task of making a bed has never been more entertaining. 

 Sean and Davina made leaps and bounds forward. But is it enough to overcome the divided living situation when they only have 3 more weeks to go in the experiment?    









A Bee in My Bonnet


 This week's "Bee" is about the intense and awkward conflict we observed this week. Let's keep in mind, there is a whole lot of filming that was left on the cutting room floor.  

Watching this with my husband brought up another great discussion. 

 Arguments in a relationship are inevitable. How do we handle them? Is there a way to disagree while keeping our integrity, and the integrity of our relationship, intact? 
We actually made a list of our take-aways and put them up on our message board as a reminder. Here they are: 
  • When we place blame to prove the other wrong, it results in criticism and condescension, in order to save face. 
  • Using degrading or disrespectful language is hurtful and can cause our partner to lose dignity. 
  • Arguments that are destructive rather than productive, create an unsafe environment.
  • When we scream or yell over one another, we are unable to hear what the other is saying and our emotions quickly escalate out of control.
  • When our emotions escalate out of control, we go into fight or flight mode and can no longer reason. 
  • If we revisit the conversation when we are calm, it allows us to reflect instead of react. 
  • Threatening to quit or leave a relationship creates a feeling of abandonment and causes a huge breakdown in communication and trust. 
  • Communication and trust are the foundation upon which to build a relationship.




Marrying a stranger is definitely not a rose garden, but it is often in adversity that we find strength within ourselves. 

 By watching the journeys of these three brave couples, it has challenged me to become a more compassionate person. 

 No matter what the outcome of the experiment, I wish them the best and am thankful for my own personal growth. 





Until next week....


  Read MAFS Season 2 Blogs:



 Here's a must read interview with Dr. Joseph Cilona:



All screen caps made by Bee, courtesy of FYI, and A&E

 I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave me a message! 




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