Thursday, April 9, 2015

Married at First Sight Season 2 Episode 4

Honeymoon Magic...Hot and Cold

I love the honeymoon phase of this show because the couples can really put their focus on getting to know each other without the intrusion of day-to-day life. I think all six individually and the couples collectively, are taking this process seriously. That does not mean, however, that it is not without missteps. We see levels of frustration from each of them, which is completely normal. This is where communication is key and will either bring them closer together or send them running. We saw both, in this week's social experiment.  

Sean and Davina 

One of the big adjustments from going single to married is sleeping and waking up with someone each morning. That one act alone, builds a foundation of commitment.

Sean knows the way to a woman's heart is through her morning coffee. 

Now if he could only stop asking Davina how she likes her coffee, he would really score some points.

What a better way to bond than a couples massage, complete with donning your wife the captain of the SS Sex Ship.

But the Golden Globe goes to the masseuse, who's only reaction to the, "come to daddy" comment, was a quick eye squeeze and a slight grin. 

The couple continues to open up and share their past. "You're only as sick as your secrets." I've chewed on that line ever since Davina spoke it. 

Sean gets an "A" on the listening test for this conversation. He is fully engaged and present. 

By the end of the evening, Manhattan Davina cuts loose and Colorado Davina gives us her best snow angel. 

This is where Sean starts slipping from the "perfect" pedestal I've put him on (sorry Dr. C.). Sean is either all in or all out...and vacillates between being a really intent listener, to totally checking out. 

I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that Sean gives everything he does, 100%. He was so excited and nervous for his first skiing experience! Colorado!...with his brand new wife! front of cameras!...that he couldn't focus on Davina's story about her mom. 

However, I'm not cutting him any slack here.  Sean put it lightly when he called it a "totally missed moment". From the lens of a woman, this is an "epic fail".

I'm so proud of Davina for addressing the situation head on. Too bad it didn't happen before their couples massage. There's some serious tension going on in this girl's neck. 

How do you fix an epic fail? Three statements... 

"I don't want you to ever feel alone."

"I own that mistake" and 

"I will do what needs to be done to make this right."

Bam! And just like that, he climbs back up a few rungs on the ladder. I love watching this relationship grow and evolve. These two compliment each other so well. Great job experts! 

Ryan and Jessica

Ryan and Jessica start off the day by having heartfelt pillow talk about their stepdads. 

Ryan has had some great male role models in his life. He has a list of characteristics that define what a great husband should be...caring, responsible, a gentleman, provider, a family man, a father. But becoming who we want to be is not instant, it's a lifelong journey. 

When in Key Largo, do as the Key Largan's do...or the tourists that come there to play. It's all about the water this week. I'm sure Jess is thrilled. 

Jess continues to put her trust in Ryan. After starting out with an island instructor, she decides to throw caution to the wind and jump on the jet-ski with her husband.

It's no surprise they end up in the ocean again. Ryan goes big or goes home. That's it. No in between for this guy. 

Off to a romantic sunset dinner. They talk about their expectations of marriage, the importance of communication and Ryan shares he had an anger problem growing up. 

Jessica feared telling Ryan about previously being engaged, but he accepted it as part of her past. 

They end the evening closer for having shared previous relationship strengths and struggles.

Another day, another water adventure. This time it's snorkeling. 

Jess is trying really hard to please Ryan, even if it means him taking her to a place of panic. Difficulty breathing sent her back to the boat. 

Chillaxin with her man is definitely more her style...

...or perhaps swimming with dolphins! 

I love that Ryan stepped up to the plate, let Jessica choose an activity...

...and had fun with it. It shows me how much he is trying, despite the fact that this is not an easy process. 

Jaclyn and Ryan

This week Jaclyn and Ryan are building trust based solely, it seems, on teaching activities. They are behind the other couples on sharing real and meaningful pieces of themselves that connect them on an emotional level. 

They find a secluded little rooftop pool and the swimming lessons begin. Jaclyn is patient, kind and supportive of his progress.

Ryan thrives in this environment and decides he likes swimming after all. 

The next teachable moment is the Salsa dance. This is Jaclyn's comfort zone and it shows. I love that Ryan is down for anything.

The instructor gives Ryan the green light to establish the rhythm and lead the Salsa. Ryan welcomes the challenge. 

They have a romantic dinner, sans romance. However, they do talk about future goals and ambitions.

Jaclyn is keeping Ryan in the friend zone to keep from having to be real, open and put herself out there. She struggles with how to be in a relationship, much less someone's wife.

It's time to enter Ryan's world with some golfing lessons. He took total control of the situation and proved to be equally as good a teacher.

Jaclyn's praise of Ryan, telling him he was the greatest golf teacher ever, was a boost for his man card. I love that about her. 

Then the veil lifts and we see a piece of  the real Jaclyn. Although she's been saying she wants a partner, she hasn't been acting like a partner. Today she is going to try a little harder. Hooray for Ryan!

There's no better place than frolicking in the water and fun in the sun. 

I think it's working...

Starting this week, I've decided to include a segment of my blog, where I'll be discussing each episode's uproarious event. My hope is to bring a new lens or thought provoking perspective. Last week it was Jaclyn ordering Ryan's dinner. This week it's Ryan walking out on Jessica. 

A Bee in Your Bonnet

I am SO in Jessica and Ryan's corner. I want this relationship to work and I want it to work effortlessly! So when I see a struggle, a sign of disrespect, a potential for hurt feelings, my emotions want to take over and verbally attack the perpetrator. That's exactly when I take a step back and reflect on what my life experience has taught me. 

I once worked on a short project with some at-risk students. They were taught when dealing with anger, to respectfully get up and walk out before a situation escalated out of control. It usually meant going to another room where they could have some private time to de-escalate. 

Some of us teach our kids to count to ten and that is all that's needed. For others, it's removing yourself in the heat of the moment. We cope in the best way we can. But it's not always pretty.  

In reflecting on my own life, did I ever walk out on a disagreement? The answer is yes. Have I ever married a stranger and had cameras in my face, 14 hours a day? The answer is no. Then how can I judge when I have not walked in those shoes? I can't. 

What I can do, is thank Ryan and Jessica for being honest, vulnerable and brave enough to allow millions of people to share their journey with them. 

Until next week....

 MAFS Season 2 Blogs:

 Here's a must read interview with Dr. Joseph Cilona:

All screen caps made by Bee, courtesy of FYI, and A&E

Please leave me a note and tell me what you think! 


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