Being a strong, independent woman can present challenges when looking for a partner. This week the women of #BlackLove talk about those challenges.
One of the issues the girls discuss is that as strong, independent women, they have trust issues and difficulty letting go of control.
Monet
Jack Daniels dishes out some tough love with Monet in one of the most compelling relationship conversations I've heard.Monet admits that she tries to make it work with men that aren't a good fit. She gives her heart to men when they aren't worthy of it.
Jack tells Monet, "Men are instinctive. For us, the instinct is to smell things that basically help us survive". He goes on to tell her there is an element of her that has the word "desperate" written across her forehead and men sense it. 
The desperation comes from that ever ticking biological clock...the race to get married and have babies before it's too late. Millions of women are having deeply profound "aha" moments as they look in the mirror and see the "D" word on their foreheads, as well. Monet's assignment is to accept and love herself enough to focus on dating men that she feels a connection with and not to compromise under pressure.
Jae
Jae meets Nneka for lunch and they connect on so many levels. They discuss their shared love for travel, adventure, denim and passionfruit, but they have one major disconnect. Nneka is looking for one monogamous relationship and Jae wants the freedom to flow freely in and out with no expectations. Suddenly things get awkward. 
Jae admits to feeling lonely at the end of the day, but the fear of being hurt again is holding her back. She wants love, but not the emotional obligation connected to a committed relationship. Cynthia
Damona takes the girls to a bar for a lesson on how to loosen up, flirt with and talk to men. The goal is to be approachable and easy to talk to. While Monet and Jae are in their element, our girl Cynthia doesn't appear to be there yet. She shares with me, "The one thing I learned about myself is that when I don't trust, I resist. I can fully submit to someone I trust." But trust takes time and a willingness to be vulnerable.
Tennesha
Tennesha likes all of the pieces of her life to be one. She tells me, "I didn't expect to form such close frienships with the other women on the show. La and I were friends before the show, but I didn't know the other girls." Tennesha has talked about the workshop and the girls to her boo Errol and now it's time for them to meet at a housewarming party.
While she's done a pretty good job of holding back her controlling nature, we see the perfectionism come out in her with the tomato chopping incident. We all know the girls won't fully invest in those tomatoes unless they measure up. Pun intended.
Tennesha apologizes for being uptight and proves that there is hope for all us perfectionists out there.
La
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Tune in to #BlackLove Tuesdays at 10:15/9:15c on FYI
The Women of #BlackLove - Hopes & Reflections S:1 E:1
The Women of #BlackLove - S:1 E:2 Getting Out of Their Own Way
The Women of #BlackLove - S:1 E:4 Like a Virgin
#MAFS Interviews
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