Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:3 - Crossing the Threshold of Just Married


Last week on the FYI series "Married at First Sight", we watched the awkward cuteness of the couples as they got their first glance at each other and said their "I do's". 

This week we saw what it was like for them to spend their wedding night with someone they've only known for a couple of hours. Here's my lens on how each of them began to build their relationship.

Emotional Connection

It's imperative that these married strangers set a solid foundation. Emotions connect people. Love is an emotion that grows through connecting. 


Nick and Sonia

Nick and Sonia are like the slow burn. When she said that establishing an emotional connection was more important than having sex, I stood up to cheer. 

Sonia told us she is a very emotional person. We saw her respond with laughter at Nick's jokes. We also saw her respond with tears when she was asked to be vulnerable. Some would be quick to judge and see that as a sign of weakness, but I invite you to consider another perspective. 


Photo credit: FYI
Most of us have been an emotional stuffer at one time or another. So think for a moment about what happens when you continually shut down instead of dealing. Things bubble underneath and continually resurface, then often come out in a way that is undesirable. The truth is, emotions are not released until you deal with them. 

Being open with your emotions means you are able to accept and embrace how you feel. Your time is then spent examining, learning and healing from the triggers. Sonia is open with her emotions, knows her insecurities and understands the need to move beyond them. 

Photo credit: FYI
Even though he is somewhat of an introvert, I do see Nick as an emotional person. He's been able to express his thoughts and feelings to the camera with ease, despite the fact that he's pretty guarded with Sonia. If Nick allows himself to open up to her, I can see an amazing relationship developing. 



Tom and Lilly

The physical chemistry between Tom and Lilly is undeniable. The spark was lit the moment they laid eyes on each other. But for long-term success, they need to develop emotional intimacy, as well.


Photo credit: FYI
I was so on board with Rachel when she told them, "Getting to know each other's stories can really help you fall in love". It is absolutely the truth. It's through the sharing of stories that we build relationships. 

Photo credit: FYI
Tom and Lilly are off to a great start with this. The first night they had a difficult conversation about their shared connection with the absence of a father figure. We also saw Tom talk about his insecurity of committing to someone that may walk away.

The true reality check will come when Tom finally opens up about living in a bus. While I personally love the idea, it is clearly not for everyone. I see so much potential for this couple. If this indeed becomes an issue, I hope they can come to a mutual compromise.



Derek and Heather

The key for Derek and Heather to build an emotional connection is acceptance. So what does that mean? For starters, they need to understand and accept the difference in the way they express themselves. Derek is very open and honest with his feelings. Heather is more reserved and indirect. 


Photo credit: FYI
Derek says exactly what he is thinking and feeling in a very kind and respectful way. Heather is clearly not used to this. Because it takes her longer to warm up, she is showing signs of being a little overwhelmed.

Heather tends to ask Derek questions, "Are you comfortable driving," "Do you gamble," and "What is considered occasional," to try and clarify things in her mind. Derek appears to be confused about what exactly she is looking for. 

Photo credit: FYI
Rachel assigned a set of questions and exercises to help them grow together on their honeymoon, but they need to also have reasonable expectations. To make it for the long haul, they have to be willing to work together, rather than build barriers that work against each other.


There is no written rule on the length of time it takes to establish an emotional connection. It may take days, weeks or months. The one thing we do know, is if the couples want to have a chance at love, their hearts must remain open with an unwavering commitment to the process...the entire 6 weeks.



***  

Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 


Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.


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3 comments:

  1. Beautiful take on these new and most tender beginnings. You have expertly organized, and put to print, my innermost emotional ramblings on these beautiful couples. Bravo! Imagine if I would have actually seen the show!! Laugh! Seriously, reading the tweets, and your wonderful blog, was so helpful, and at least gave me a delicious sampling of that 'honeymoon chapter.'
    Deciding to watch this season, was hard for me. Season three was my first 'MAFS' experience, and because I am an overly sensitive sort, it was real hard on me. My heart broke right along with Sam, and Vanessa's. You would think therefore, that I wouldn't be crazy enough to watch again, but here I am. I do know, that I cant allow,myself to go so big this time. 'Only a show,' they said, 'Don't be so serious,' they said. Yeah, right! Love ya, Bee!


    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful take on these new and most tender beginnings. You have expertly organized, and put to print, my innermost emotional ramblings on these beautiful couples. Bravo! Imagine if I would have actually seen the show!! Laugh! Seriously, reading the tweets, and your wonderful blog, was so helpful, and at least gave me a delicious sampling of that 'honeymoon chapter.'
    Deciding to watch this season, was hard for me. Season three was my first 'MAFS' experience, and because I am an overly sensitive sort, it was real hard on me. My heart broke right along with Sam, and Vanessa's. You would think therefore, that I wouldn't be crazy enough to watch again, but here I am. I do know, that I cant allow,myself to go so big this time. 'Only a show,' they said, 'Don't be so serious,' they said. Yeah, right! Love ya, Bee!


    ReplyDelete
  3. You are too sweet and funny Jane! Yes...we as viewers develop an "Emotional Connection" with these couples and want them so badly to find love. I feel hopeful that at least one couple is still together, however, I felt the same way about Sam & Neil and Tres & Vanessa so....

    ReplyDelete