Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The Women of #BlackLove S:1 E:7 Feeling Some Kinda Way


This week on #BlackLove, the workshop is about letting go of the fear of sexual and emotional intimacy, to better be able to open the doors of connection, empathy, understanding and compassion. 

Jae

Jae understands that getting hurt is a part of life, so her focus is to try to create situations where that doesn't happen.

La tells her not to let past relationships control her fear of getting hurt again. 



Eventually Jae wants intimacy, love and vulnerability, but right now she wants the freedom of dating without the obligations that go along with commitment. It's clear she's not in the same place that the other women are, and that's okay. 

Damona sets Jae up on a date with Simone from France, and Jae is simply glowing. We're with you, girl. That French accent is irresistable. 

The fact that she feels an instant connection with Simone is quite revealing about where she is with Bentley. Jae misses being youthful and fun.


Tennesha

After the last workshop, Tennesha has been focusing on how to better communicate with Errol through their different styles. This is huge. 

She opens up to Jae that while she has peeled back many layers with Errol, her fear of complete emotional intimacy has kept her from revealing that final layer. Now it's time.




Tennesha takes the next step and tells Errol she was in the military for 9 years. Although this is a painful part of her past, she doesn't want it to define her.  

Errol gets it and couldn't be more sweet or understanding. 



La

When talking about sexual intimacy, La says she wants to feel the connection with someone and that someone is Karl.

However, she's conflicted because her relationship with Karl has held her back from moving out of the country. 


La admits to the girls that she fears showing emotion. Tennesha is spot on when she points out that La's way of telling Karl she loves him is asking him to travel with her. That's a major step for her.

Relationships are about compromise, but is it fair to expect Karl to put his life and career on hold to follow her? If she doesn't leave, will La start to resent Karl for holding her back? 

Jack tells La that although he sees she is a very emotional person, her struggle is showing it with words. 

The challenge he gives La is to express her feelings to Karl before he goes on his 2 week trip to visit family in Ireland. 



La plans a romantic dinner and gets real with Karl. She expresses that her need is to see the love in actions vs. Karl, who needs to hear the words. 

I see compromise here. They are making steps in the right direction and I love watching their relationship grow. 



Physical and Emotional Intimacy


Physical touch is vital to a successful relationship. To help the girls to feel more comfortable with sexual intimacy, the girls attend a massage class. This was by far the most entertaining activity I've seen. 

Damona reveals that while women touch and hug each other all the time, men are starved for physical intimacy. That made me ponder and think about my own relationship. 


The next exercise is an improv flirting workshop to help with listening and being in the moment. 

Can I just say for a moment, I'm totally distracted by how on point their accessories are? It'a all about the shoes and purses, girls. Okay, back to the workshop..

To sum up the session and see a shift in how you feel and how people relate to you, Damona mentions the following key points:
  • Flirting is a way for a woman to show she is interested in a man.
  • Don't become hardened to men approaching you. Keep an open mind. 
  • Be careful with terminology so you don't unintentionally undermine him.
  • Be open to being approached in unconventional settings. 

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Tune in to #BlackLove Tuesdays at 10:15/9:15c on FYI

Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #BlackLove


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Screencaps made by Bee, courtesy of FYI and A&E



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