Watching Married at First Sight was a struggle for me this week for so many reasons.
Tuesday was the eve of the loss of my father and while it's been two years, I'm with David Norton...on certain days, it doesn't get any easier.
As I write this today, my heart is completely broken. Again. This morning my husband and I had to make a difficult decision. We brought our beloved Brady to the vet to be euthanized. His suffering and pain is over, but ours has just begun.
I can't imagine not being greeted at the door with his adoration and unconditional love. I can't imagine not being able to feel and smell those sweet puppy dog kisses. I can't imagine sleeping without him snuggled between us, his very heart in rhythm with mine, like the beat of a drum.
As I was holding him and he took his last breath, I thought about Sam Role holding her grandmother as she took her last breath. Did I mention my heart was breaking? I thought about her advice to Neil...you may think you have the time to say all the things you want, and suddenly you don't.
Sitting here now, I reflect on how unpredictable life can be. If this were my last day, what words do I have that are unspoken? What is the legacy I want to leave behind?
Life is short. I think back on the years and suddenly they seem like a vapor. The golden moments along the way seem like both yesterday and forever ago. I've learned not to take a single moment of life for granted because it can change in an instant.
Act with integrity. When I lay my head down on the pillow at night, I need to be at peace, knowing I've allowed my moral compass to guide me. If I do that, my acts and deeds each day have been a true representation of who I am.
Speak with honesty. Honesty is the foundation of trust and trust is the foundation of relationships. Words have power...the power to lift up or the power to destroy. Blend words of honesty with kindness, compassion and empathy.
Love to the fullest. There is nothing more fulfilling than giving yourself completely to another. Yes, you risk getting hurt, but if you don't hurt, you don't grow. Let the walls down and let love in. It's all that really matters in life.
Live with no regrets. Your words and deeds can alter the course of your life. Once spoken or done, they can never be taken back. We make mistakes every day. The key to living with no regrets is to learn from your mistakes. Use them as a springboard to become the best person you can be. Only then will they have served their purpose.
Have forgiveness. There is no power, like the power of forgiveness. When you forgive others, the burden is released from your shoulders. The weight you're dragging around is suddenly lifted and your spirit is free.
I dedicate this to my husband, children and grandchildren, who all read my blog.
In loving memory of my father and Brady, who both brought so much love
and joy to my life.
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