Saturday, January 16, 2016

Married at First Sight - Journey Through the Lens of a Viewer S:3 E:7

Last week my blog focused on how communication impacts change as it related to the 3 couples of Married at First Sight. This week I want to continue the conversation about adapting to change as I believe it affects every aspect of this social experiment and more importantly, my life. 


It's difficult not to have expectations coming into this situation. You have hopes and dreams of your "happily ever after". However, having unrealistic expectations can be the difference between success and failure, not only in marriage, but in life.

Bringing expectations into a relationship is unfair and can get in the way of open communication and building a connection. It puts roadblocks up without the other person being aware of them. When your expectations aren't being met, you feel let down, disappointed and ultimately, you disengage. So how do you deal?
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.”  ~Unknown
Stick to the process and let go of the outcome. Instead of hoping for what isn't, open yourself to experiencing your reality. Understand that without the process, you will never see change, because change takes time.

Create your expectations together. Trust and respect are two healthy expectations that can be mutually agreed upon.


We've all heard the term, "knowledge is power," but to obtain knowledge, you need to be curious and have a desire to learn.

Dr. Pepper's advice to be open to receiving new information, new ways of acting and new ways of giving feedback, was on point. 

When you are stuck in the same mindset that created the problem, you will not be able to make a shift in your thinking. 

So how do you receive knowledge? Stay in curiosity mode. Ask questions and avoid making decisions that stop the forward progress you need for change. 
"If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you." ~Anonymous

From the Lens of a Viewer

When I write, I write with the screen pointing at me. So how do knowledge and expectations affect me as a viewer?

When I first started watching Married at First Sight, I wanted a love story. I saw pieces of myself, my life and my experiences in each of the individuals and couples. I felt their joy and their pain and reacted with passion. When my expectations of "happily ever after" were not met, I felt the disappointment like it was my own. 

Removing my expectations has allowed me to be open to seek knowledge...a new way of looking at things, receiving things and reacting to things. When I changed my perception, I came to realize the valuable life lessons I was missing because I was focused on what they were doing wrong, instead of what I could do right. 

My husband and I watch Married at First Sight so we can learn and grow as a couple. It is our weekly marriage counseling session, right from the comfort of our own home. We watch with curiosity...what knowledge can we seek from each situation? What advice can we take from the experts to apply to our marriage? 

We have grown closer as a couple in the last year. Why? Because we are having deep, meaningful conversations. Some of them are tough, filled with tears, some of them are easy, filled with laughter...but we are talking.

Watching Married at First Sight has changed my marriage and my life and for that, I will forever be grateful.

Thank you to the brave individuals who have put themselves out there each week on "Married at First Sight" and to Dr. Joseph Cilona, Dr. Logan Levkoff, Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Greg Epstein, for their unwavering commitment to the process and for sharing their relationship expertise. 

Season 3 of Married at First Sight is on Tuesdays at 9/8c on FYI and A&E

No comments:

Post a Comment