Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:15 Marriage Requires Forgiveness and Yes...Change!



Season 4 of FYI's "Married at First Sight" was a success with two couples choosing to stay married. Although the experts used scientific data to match them, the real work of marriage is just beginning. 

So what advice would I give them after 37 years of marriage? First of all, it's a challenge to meld two lives into one. It's easier when you realize that you can't change your partner, rather you can only change the way you respond to them.

During our struggles I had to ask myself, what is it about our relationship that brings out the best and worst in me? What do I do that brings out the best or worst in my husband? How can I change that narrative so I can de-escalate our conflict? 


Photo credit: Kinetic Content

Secondly, I remember telling my children that I will always love them even though I was upset with a choice they made. When I said that, it separated my feelings for them from their actions. It took me YEARS to realize that marriage requires that same separation!  

Thirdly, criticism and sarcasm have NO place in problem solving. When my husband and I started to work at resolving the ISSUE instead of placing blame on each other, BINGO!!! We soon realized there wasn't anything we couldn't overcome. 


Photo credit: Kinetic Content

Lastly, the most imperative thing for me was to learn to forgive AND forget. Holding a grudge left my guts in a constant state of turmoil. I could never fully give myself because a piece of me was hurt and disengaged. I expected my husband to read my mind and KNOW why I was upset. Sounds crazy, right? But how many people make that same mistake? Through the years I've learned in order to truly have a successful marriage, you have to solve problems and then LET THEM GO. 

Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it is certain to have ups and downs. My wish for Tom & Lilly and Nick & Sonia is that they can work as a team through good times and bad, and build a lifetime of love and happiness.


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Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 

Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.


Episode Blogs


  










Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:14 Top Tweets


The #MarriedAtFirstSight Season Finale had EVERYONE up in arms and clutching their pearls on whether the couples would choose to stay together or get a divorce. So many intense feels! 




















***
Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 

Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.

Check out these hilarious Top Tweets Blogposts!

 S:4 E:1 


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:14 Compromise for the Win!





With the six week FYI social experiment "Married at First Sight"  coming to an end, the individuals agonized over one of the most difficult decisions of their lives...whether to stay married or get a divorce. In the end, all four committed to giving their relationship a chance beyond six weeks, in the absence of cameras. 

This is not a decision any one of them took lightly. It's the one time they had to examine what is best for them individually. 

In contrast, many decisions in marriage require two people. That can be a challenge when each person brings their own unique set of thoughts, ideas and values. As the couples start to live their lives in the 'real' world, compromise is the key for lasting success. 



Photo credit: Kinetic Content

Compromise takes empathy. You have to be willing to set aside stubbornness. The desire to work through issues needs to be more important than the desire to be 'right'. 

What compromise does not require, is sacrificing the very core of who you are. Whether it's faith, politics, children, or issues of social justice, your passions must remain intact. 

I understand Tom's defining character as a minimalist, the importance of Lilly's job and her desire to have children. I understand Nick's discomfort in expressing himself as an introvert and Sonia's need for emotional love and respect. The question is, will they understand, have empathy for one another and find a way to remain true to themselves?



Photo credit: Kinetic Content

Compromise must be equally measured over time so each person feels respected in the process. It's not one-sided, rather a mutual concession that allows both parties to keep their integrity. Also, there are times when it's necessary to agree to disagree.

As the couples begin this new chapter in their lives, it's imperative to find a way to search for common ground. There are very few issues in marriage that can't be worked through with mutual empathy, respect and integrity. And yes, hopefully for these couples...love. 


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Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 


Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.



Episode Blogs





Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Married at First Sight Season 4: Why Derek Schwartz Chose to Stay Married

Photo credit: FYI

Derek Schwartz and Heather Seidel of the FYI hit, "Married at First Sight" were a good match on paper with similar likes and ideas. But despite that fact, Seidel chose to end their marriage after just 10 short days. While fans were disappointed, no one felt the sting of rejection more than Schwartz. I had an opportunity to catch up with him and learn about his journey.

Schwartz admitted the concept of marrying a stranger was unexpected. "I was totally surprised when I was first contacted to do the show. I got a message on a social media site saying they'd like to talk on the phone."

Although initially reluctant, the idea eventually took hold and he began to embrace the opportunity. "At the age of 35, I had not found a wife on my own. If I could have the experts find me a match, I would be willing to give it a try."  

Schwartz felt his realistic expectations made him ready for the challenge. "I was at a point in my life where I was completely open to compromise in order to be with the right person."

There was an instant attraction that he fondly recalled. "The good memories for me started off at the wedding. It was such a special day and so cool that we shared it together, not only with us, but with our families."  

Schwartz said the excitement in the first few days made the beginning of their journey enjoyable. "We had some really funny conversations and times where things were calm. I thought, 'Wow! I cant believe I'm here and this is happening. This is great'!"

Unfortunately what Seidel deemed as irreconcilable differences, brought their relationship to a screeching halt. Despite the fact that she admittedly checked out of the marriage on 'Decision Day', Schwartz wanted to stay married. He explained, "In order to find out if the two people involved are compatible, I think the full six weeks is necessary. I wish that we would have been able to go into it with open minds and a willingness to try something new. It would have allowed us to learn more about relationships and ourselves, regardless of the outcome." 


Photo credit: FYI 


Schwartz felt there was nothing that he and Seidel couldn't have worked through with a shared commitment and expertise guidance from Pastor Cal Roberson, Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Rachel DeAlto. He regretted, "We never really had a chance to be coached by them and that was a huge part of the equation for me. Knowing that I still had a tremendous amount to learn about relationships, I was looking forward to learning all I could throughout the process.

Schwartz admitted that watching himself on the show was an eye opener. He reflected there were "areas where I could have handled things differently. It took seeing it all unfold on TV to realize that." He further stated, "One of the things I will change in future relationships is the way I handle things when the tensions are high. I must remember to stay level-headed and not let frustration get me too worked up."  

Seidel may not have been 'the one' for him, but the experience has given Schwartz some clarity on what he is looking for in a partner. "I had an idea before, but I have an even clearer one now." 


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Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 


Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.


Season 4 Interviews:







Saturday, October 22, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:13 Top Tweets


In this week's top tweets Nick is a dog whisperer, Sonia is #freakum hot, we #discussthebus and Derek is missed. Here we go!
































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Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 

Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.



Check out these hilarious Top Tweets Blogposts!

S:4 E:12
S:4 E:11
S:4 E:5


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Married at First Sight S:4 E:13 The Power to Choose Our Destiny


The pressure builds as 'Decision Day' looms for the two remaining couples that got  "Married at First Sight"We see how these impending decisions weigh on their hearts as the last grains of sand slip down the hourglass.

When you take the ultimate risk of marrying a stranger, your hopes and dreams are to have a lifelong partner with whom you can grow in love with. 


Photo credit: Kinetic Content

But in order to fall in love, the relationship must be healthy. What does that mean? Each person needs to feel honored, respected, listened to and valued. Because we are all unique, that can look very different. Yet there can also be many commonalities. 


Watching these couples work at building their relationship prompted my husband and I to have a conversation about how we feel honored in our marriage. For him, it's about feeling respected and that means:
  • Give him undivided attention when he is speaking. 
  • Seek his advice and find ways to show him he is wanted and needed. 
  • Focus on his intentions and forgive his shortcomings. 
  • Don't expect him to read my mind! 

For me, it's more important to feel loved. I need him to:
  • Speak to me with respect.
  • Listen with an open heart.
  • Admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
  • Show daily affection with touch...kissing, hand holding and hugs.


Photo credit: Kinetic Content

Each action or word leaves an impression and those impressions build to tell our story. Is your story one of trust, kindness and integrity, one of angst, hurt and betrayal or a mixture? Life is not perfect. It's full of ups and downs, twists and turns. But with resilience and forgiveness, we can persevere. 

We all have the power within us to write our own destiny. What chapter will Nick & Sonia and Tom & Lilly reveal at the end of the six week experiment? 



***

Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 

Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.

Married at First Sight Interviews

Rachel DeAlto Shares her Story
Connecting with Pastor Calvin Roberson
Getting to Know the Season 4 Singles!








Monday, October 17, 2016

Married At First Sight S:4 E:12 Top Tweets



What is life without reading through literally THOUSANDS of #MarriedAtFirstSight tweets each week? Gotta love comedic relief! Here are my top picks:


























***
Follow me on Twitter @realitvwithbee and live tweet using #MarriedAtFirstSight or #MAFS 

Watch "Married at First Sight Confessions" on +FYI Television Network Tuesdays at 8:30/7:30pm CDT, followed by "Married at First Sight" at 8:45/7:45pm CDT and #MAFS #Unfiltered hosted by +jamie otis at 10/9pm CDT.



Check out these hilarious Top Tweets Blogposts!

S:4 E:11
S:4 E:5